Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen things I found under my bed

1…. My husband's shoes - In my husband's defense, he puts his shoes just under the edge of the bed each night... he just keeps two pair there.

2... An old used dryer sheet - at least everything will smell nice.

3... An odd sock - I'm surprised the dryer didn't take it.

4... A hanger

5... Dust bunnies - no surprise

6... The Little Golden Book "The Night Before Christmas" I guess it has been a while since I cleaned under my bed!

7... 2 Q-tips - they obviously missed the trash.

8... a piece of popcorn okay... who's been eating popcorn in my bed???

9... a soft, cuddly, stuffed leopard - I bet Punkin has been looking for this!

10... Sunflower's 2001 - 2002 Jr. High school ID card - ???

11... A hand towel

12... A Winnie the Pooh movie - Now I know who has been eating popcorn in my bed!!

13... A dry cleaner tag

All in all, I was surprised it was as clean under there as it was... however my side of the bed definitely had more stuff under it than did hubby's!!!




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How does your garden grow?

Forget talking to your plants... it is staring at them that does the trick.

We are ready for spring at my house. Unfortunately, the weather says otherwise. It has snowed several times last week, and the temperature hints at being warmer - high forties - but then it always dips below freezing at night. Everything is wet, as it either rains or snows or both at the same time.

Since we dont' have a place outside to plant flowers or have a garden, I decided that Boo might like to plant some flowers inside. We could get a jump start on spring this way. I bought a rectangular flower box and a packet of flower seeds designed to attract humingbirds and butterflies. They are different varieties in bright pretty colors. About 10 days ago, on a Saturday morning, Boo and I got out the potting soil and I showed her how to plant flowers. She was so excited! She helped me carefully pour the soil into the planter. Then I sprinkled a few seeds into the palm of my hand and showed her the different seeds. "See, Boo? This one is small, round and black, while this one is sort of shaped like a banana. Each seed will make a flower grow. The different seeds will make different flowers." Trying to remember she is only 3, I was still excited to share this knowledge of nature with her, hoping she would understand. I sprinkled the seeds across our box of soil. "My turn!" she cried. I sprinkled a few seeds in her hand. She held it out to me. "Now look, mom. This seed is round, and this seed is like a shape thing-y, and this one is... well it looks like a... well it's just weird." I had to bite the inside of my cheek not to laugh. Sometimes she is just too darn cute! We sprinkled the seeds until the whole packet was gone. Then we carefully sprinkled a little potting soil on top and watered them. Boo was so excited! "When do the flowers come?" I told her in about a week, we would see little green stems, and it would take longer to actually have flowers. (50 - 84 days according to the package). She went with me to put the flower box on the patio, hoping for a little sunlight through the rainy day.

Every day Boo would come home and check on the flowers. She helped me water them and would sit and stare at them. Saturday morning, after being watered, Boo asked if she could stay on the patio on watch them. I tried to explain that she wouldn't actually see the flowers growing, but she was not to be deterred. She wanted to watch them. I agreed, as our patio is fenced, and fully expecting her 3 year old attention to wander after staring at a pot of dirt for more than 30 seconds. After a few minutes, she screamed "MOM!!! A GREEN THING!!!" I went out to the patio, and lo and behold, a little sprout had pushed it's head above the soil. "I TOLD YOU I HAD TO WATCH THEM!!" Well, leave it to nature to make a liar out of mom. I smiled and we talked about how they would keep growing, until the whole pot was full of pretty flowers. She was so excited! She kept going to check on the flowers all day Saturday, and by the end of the day we has sixteen sprouts. By Sunday we had about 30 and this morning, as I put the flower box outside for some sun (doubtful, it is raining again) we had more than 60 sprouts, some of them 2" already!! I'm surprised... Boo is ecstatic!

Now, I'm no gardening expert... in fact I usually kill potted plants, but I'm convinced they grew because they knew they were being watched and decided to show off for an excited three year old little girl.

SHE PASSED!!

Sunflower passed her CPR test. She did really well, actually. She is super excited, and I am super excited AND super relieved. There will be more tests in the future... but this one is done and over with!

When a mom is powerless...

Sunflower is in a CNA class. This is a wonderful career field for her. She has the personality, she is genuinely caring, has wonderful compassion, loves helping people, and is obsessed with becoming a doctor. The problem? Combine dyslexia with short-term memory problems. When she was 6 weeks old, she ran a fever of 105 - 106 for 5 days. It was 5 days of pacing in a children's hospital watching your newborn get poked and prodded till her feet were black and blue... listening to her scream as they did spinal tap after spinal tap, all in search of the elusive diagnosis of why she has this fever, and why can't we make it go down?? After the fever finally broke, and a day later when she was considered "normal", she was discharged with "fever of unknown origin", which to me, was frustrating as I wanted to know what was wrong. We will never know. However, I'm reminded of this experience daily as Sunflower has deficits in her short term memory, attributed to possible brain damage suffered during the period of high fever. She simply doesn't retain things. In 4th grade, she studied and studied her times tables, knew them by heart... for 5 minutes. She can't follow complicated directions that involve remembering several steps with details. She forgets where she puts things, she forgets what she is supposed to be doing. It is really frustrating for me as a mom. She has developed the habit of writing things down when she needs to remember them, and has worked over the years to develop ways of putting information into her long term memory. Now, enter dyslexia. Writing has always been a problem for her, as has reading. She has struggled her whole life to master those two skills. Her spelling is worse than awful, and her handwriting isn't much better. To her credit, she tries hard and has improved more in the last two years than in the five before. She will push herself to be in mainstream classes rather than stay in a resource class. She may not make A's, but she tries harder to earn a C.

There is SO MUCH terminology and memorization in her CNA class. She will spend hours and hours going over medical terminology, trying to put it in long term memory so that she can take her tests. I will quiz her (or her dad most of the time as he can pronounce those words) and she knows her stuff! The next day, she will have forgotten most of it, so she studies again. After quizzing, she knows what she is talking about and a few hours later at least half of it is gone. BUT... days of this and she can actually retain enough to pass her classes.

She had to take a CPR test. She can't pass the written test. Her teacher, I think, is equally frustrated. She told Heather, "I've seen you do it! You know what you are doing... you just have to pass this part of it." Heather has failed it 4 times. Her final attempt is today. Her teacher is actually going to read the test to her. Heather was crying yesterday when she called to tell me she had failed again. She only misses passing it by 3 questions. If she can't pass today, she can't retake the test. She is doing her clinicals at a local hospital, and if she can't pass, she can't continue to go to the hospital. I understand why, but at the same time, my heart is aching for my daughter. I want so much for her to succeed! She is so good at nursing and would make an excellent nurse. She loves it! She also has to try 10 times harder than the average student to be half as good on paper. As a mom, I want to just shake her and say "PASS THIS TEST!!!! NOW!"

As much as I want to rescue her, I can't. This is something only she can do. I'm sitting here with butterflies in my stomach, knowing at this moment, she is going through the torture of testing AGAIN, and wondering how she is doing. I pray that she can just pass this class and pass the state licensing test to be a CNA. I know that she will be a stronger person for going through this, but she can't see that. She just sees that she is different, and often times she labels herself as a failure or stupid. She isn't stupid, I know her IQ. Does she listen to me when I tell her she is not stupid? No, of course not. My heart aches when she tries so hard, and fails. I hear of other parents who are exicted that their son/daughter is on the honor roll for the 5th straight year. I want to jump up and down when my daughter gets a C+ on her history test. She still can't remember her times tables, but she is an incredible person.

As a mom, I wish I could somehow guarantee the sucess of my children so that I knew they would grow up to be happy, successful people. I am glad though, that I am there to celebrate the successes and I have a shoulder to cry on when things don't go quite as well. We can't, afterall, save them from life.

Say again??

Inigo Montoya: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. "

Our daughter, Boo, got Alice in Wonderland for Valentine's Day. She loves it. When she saw it, she exclaimed, "This is my favorite movie!! I've never seen it before!" She watches it at least weekly. There is a scene where the Mad Hatter explains that everyone has one birthday a year. That leaves 364 days that are un-birthdays. The Mad Hatter is having a party for his un-birthday, and everyone is singing a silly little song... "A happy un-birthday to you". Boo loves this song, but gets a little confused. She goes around the house singing "A unhappy birthday to you!"

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!!!

Birthdays

I took my three year old, Boo, to a birthday party yesterday. Her friend was turning 3, and the party was held at Gymboree. I've never been there, although I've heard of it. It was a wonderful party and the kids had so much fun! The Gymboree employee was wonderful with the group of kids, whose ages ranged from almost 2 to 6 or so. They had toddler sized gym equipment and they climbed and slid and crawled through tubes and had a marvelous time in self play. Then she had them make a circle around a huge parachute and they filled the middle with blow-up beach balls. The kids "made waves" by shaking the parachute up and down and of course the beach balls went up even higher. They were all laughing and even I was when the beach balls came down all over the kids. She had them play where they walked in a circle, stepping in and out of hoops she had placed on the floor. Each time the music stopped, they had to be standing inside a hoop, but she removed a hoop each time. The kids were never "out", they simply tried to stand two in a hoop, which was hilarious, and just as fun for them. They had color games and ball games, and so many original ways to have the kids be active and they totally enjoyed it. For over an hour, my child ran, jumped, slid, climbed, crawled, and laughed and I bet she didn't even know she was exercising. We then had cake and ice cream while the birthday girl opened presents. It was a wonderful party, and I'm going to remember it next party I have to plan!

On the way home, Boo said she wanted one. One what? I questioned. I want another birthday, she said. "You just had a birthday a few months ago. You can't have another birthday till December." "Well," she replied thoughtfully, "I think we should each get two." I had to smile at that thought. If I'd had two birthdays from the time I was three, I'd be pushing a lot more than 40! I'd be pregnant and 70! (Which is a thought too scary to even think about) And I thought I was tired now at 38... So I thought about it. When you are three, you want more than one birthday a year, but then it tapers off so that when you are in your thirties, you almost don't want one at all. So, when you are three, you have two birthdays a year until your 21 and then they go back to once a year until they are 35 and then you get one every other year until you are 62, and then you can have a birthday only when you feel like it.

Is that a good idea? Well, actually not. Having two birthdays from three to 21 would make you 40 right off the bat. And besides, think of everything we would miss in raising our children! We would only have them at home for 9 or 10 years and then they would be gone! My oldest son is turning 19 this year, in about 2 weeks. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. I still remember him as an infant, and sometimes I wonder where the time went. It was so fast! One minute you are trying to help him with spelling words in 3rd grade, and you blink and you're buying a cap and gown. Now he's deciding what he wants to do in college. Gone are the days of playing matchbox cars on the floor, and arm wrestling him to get him to do what I want. No, I tell Boo, one birthday a year is MORE than enough. You'll have to wait for December to turn 4, and don't you dare try to grow up any faster!!!

Private Taxi Service

It is amazing how many places there are to go. We drive our two little girls to the sitter in the morning, drive our teenage daughter to school and drive to work. After work we pick everyone up. Then there is a stop at the bank, library, grocery store and chiropractor on a weekly basis, if not more often. Every Saturday morning, the teenager goes to clinicals for a nursing assistant class. At 6:45am, I load the sleeping little girls into carseats and drive her about 10 miles each direction, returning at noon to retrieve her. Then there is the "can you take me to the movie theater/mall/friend's house" during the week. Yesterday we drove an hour to pick up our son who wanted to come home for a visit. The first question he asked was could he use our car during the day to visit friends. On a typical day, I get off work at 4pm, and I'm really lucky if I get in my front door before 6... and I only work 3 miles away. I've considered asking my oldest daughter to ride the public bus, as we have a wonderful transit system, but she is adamantly opposed to the idea. I don't blame her, really. My son on the other hand loves riding the bus and will often use that option when he can't borrow the car.

I could take all this taxi service and get frustrated, but some of our great conversations happen in the car. Boo will look out the window and count basketball hoops. "Everybody gots a basketball hoop mom!" As we drive back home Saturday mornings, we count flags. Boo loves flags and is always on the lookout. "A flag! A flag! LOOK A FLAG!!". Sometimes we pretend to be the Gnome Mobile, and sometimes we just pretend. The other day Boo wanted daddy to be a dog. When he started talking, she reminded him that dogs don't talk. He then answered her questions by barking, but she couldn't understand what he was saying, so she told him to quit talking doggy. We have spent hours and miles singing songs and laughing.

My older children and I have had wonderful conversations in the car. I've made midnight runs to my husband's work to bring him dinner or something he forgot. My oldest son would always go with me. The best heartfelt conversations were had in the car. He would open up and talk about things I never could have got him to talk about if we had been at home, like girlfriends, sex, smoking, school, and his future. My teenage daughter will even ask, "Can we go for a ride? I need to talk to you."

When I think of how much gas we use in a week, and the miles we put on the car each month, I tend to get a little frustrated that I am always on the go. There are times I wish I could come straight home from work and just stay home. The moments I spend in the car add up to hours a day, but those hours can be priceless.

When it all began

I remember when I was pregnant with my third child. It was 3am, and I was going to the hospital at 7 to be induced. My other two children, ages 15 and 14 were sleeping soundly, as was my husband. I was sitting on the edge of my bed with tears running down my face wondering what I was doing having another child. I paced the floor and asked myself... what are you going to do??? Your kids are almost grown! In four years they will both be out of high school. They can feed themselves, do their own laundry, clean their own room and help out with dishes. They can stay home by themselves if I want to go to the movie or on a drive with my husband. What possessed me to want another baby? Then I put my hand on my soon to be born daughter and felt her kick me. I guess I needed to be kicked. I knew why I wanted another child. I've always wanted a big family. I knew that I had waited years and years to have another child and I was finally getting what I had always wanted. My children were equally excited to have a new sister. Looking back, I can't imagine my life without that little girl. Now age three, my little bug is total joy in my life. She makes me smile on a daily basis. She is giving, kind and loving. She has a wild imagination and I love to just get on the floor and play with her. Two and a half years after she was born we had a playmate for her. Punkin may be only 10 months old now, but she too brings joy to my life on a daily basis. I love watching her face light up in a smile when I walk in the room. Yes, my oldest will be 19 next month, but I wouldn't change a thing. I get no sleep between being a full time mom and working a full time job. Punkin has decided she no longer needs to sleep all night, and frequently wakes up at 1am wanting only mommy, so what little sleep I manage to get is broken up throughout the night. My day starts at 5:30am and ends at 11, sometimes later. I run here and there and sometimes there are not enough hours in the day. But, I love my life and I love my family. Still, now pregnant with #5, I ask myself the same question. What am I going to do???