I need a vacation

I need a vacation; a real vacation. Unfortunately, now that my husband is out of work anc can take the time to go somewhere, we don't have the money. Why do vacations cost so much? It should be a break from your everyday life... a chance to unwind and recharge. It doesn't work that way all the time though. I worry about packing everything and do we have enough money, and how am I going to keep the kinds entertained in the car, and when are we going to get there? Then we try so hard to get to see and do everything we can in the time we have that by the time we get home we need a vacation to recover from our vacation!

For the last two years I have given birth during the summer so that we can no go to my husband's family reuinion. Usually that is our only vacation of the year... camping for 4 days in Arizona with his family. I really enjoy my in-laws. We get along great and I love seeing them. I hate sleeping on the ground in a tent. I also don't like to be hot or dirty. You can't help but be dirty when you are camping and you can't help but be hot when you're in Arizona. I always come home tired and cranky from not getting good sleep, and aching from head to toe from sleeping on the ground. I do like being outside, and would enjoy camping more if I had a way to shower, and a comfortable place to sleep at night.

My idea of a great vacation is to rent a hotel on the beach somewhere... sleep in, have brunch, explore the beach, maybe go to an aquarium, swim, enjoy dinner & relax with a movie before bed... after a soak in the tub. Have I EVER had such a vacation?? NO! I would love to go to San Diego and see Sea World, and the zoo, and the wild animal park. I'd love it there... not to hot, nice ocean breezes. I'm not sure when we will be able to afford it, but I dream about it.

My husband and I decided years ago that we would go on an Alaskan cruise for our 10th wedding anniversary. However, it will come when we are both attending school, and it will not be possible for us to go then. It isn't realistic to even think we could pull it off when we are both in school. Now we are saying, maybe when I graduate we can take the kids to Disneyland.

I really don't want to wait four more years for a real vacation! I want one now!! I NEED one now! Now is when life is stressful. I'm overwhelmed thinking about school, student loans, getting unpacked from moving, settling in to our new apartment, when will my husband get another job, how are we going to get the bills paid, can we stall off a few bills one more month?, who will watch the girls when I go back to school this fall?, how are we going to pay for brakes on the Durango when we have no money coming in? I wish I can just pack an overnight bag for everyone and load up the car and just GO. I don't really even care where. I just want a break. I just want to relax, watch a sunset, go on a walk, play, de-stress!!! The problems will still be there when I get back but I will have the reserves to deal with them.

I'll have a real vacation one day. When, I don't know, but hopefully soon. Until then, I'll close my eyes and try to hear the roar of the ocean, smell the salty air, feel the ocean breeze on my face, and the sand between my toes.


Then I'll open my eyes and return to my real life.